May the bridges I burn light the way

I sat there listening to everyone suggest efficiency ideas for an hour. They all seemed to care, not just because it had to do with their jobs, but because they care about the product.
The copy desk may be fewer in numbers, but that's not going to stop them from putting out the best damn paper every day. I respect that, and them, but I no longer share their interest.

I worked at The Arizona Republic for 14 years. I started in circulation, where it was my job to listen to angry, screaming subscribers. I worked, whether as a newsroom assistant, copy editor, or page designer, in every section of the newspaper. I even got to do a bit of reporting.

I had those opportunities because I had a series of excellent bosses and one deputy managing editor who looked out for me. (Bill Hill, Jim Fickess, Chad Snow and Tracy Collins - two of whom have been laid off.) Because of those people, I was able to learn new things, develop my skills, and become a more marketable employee - equipping me to get new job and leave what had become a soul-crushing experience.

I am a person who genuinely likes to help, a creature of habit who fears change, and a complete Pollyanna. I am ridiculously good at finding good in any situation. The only thing I could think of toward the end was, "At least you still have a job," and that still wasn't enough to placate me, leaving me no choice but to face my fear of change and find work elsewhere.

In the current economic climate, layoffs and furloughs sadly are commonplace. But when it became apparent that they were being used as a means to ensure ridiculous bonuses, I couldn't stomach the place any longer. I get so angry and sad thinking of all the people who were laid off, not to make the product better and ensure we stay in business, but to make sure that corporate goals were met and shareholders are appeased.

The anger was so much, it was unhealthy.
The situation is pretty ugly for the night copy desk, and many other departments, for that matter. As much as I want to help those who have been spared in the latest round of cuts, I just can't take the stress of waiting for word of the next quarterly furlough and the annual layoffs - because they are coming.
I felt guilty for leaving but it is the best decision for me.

I've made a complete career change. It is scary and exhilarating at the same time.